Beauty, attractiveness, and being stylish were once thought to only thrive in the playground of the young, the exclusive domain of the twenty-somethings considered to be the authentic ambassadors of style. The myth is still strongly persistent among some people and brands.
But there is a strong shift and hardcore evidence currently sweeping these monolithic and passé ideologies. Take, for example, Daphne Guinness, Mae Musk (yes, Elon’s mom), Montrealer Grece Ghanem, Madonna (with her full-on corset looks), Sharon Stone, and even Iris Apfel who became an influencer in her nineties and lived a full, fashionable life until her death in March 2024, at 102. These women are all considered to be fabulous embodiments of fashion and style. And they’re all over 50.
Youth hypnotizes with its dewy, bouncy and glowing skin; its fit and plump bodies. Like a flower at the apex of its delicate blossom, we turn around and admire it with delight because it is fleeting and evanescent. Youth temporarily distracts us from our own mortality. And that’s also why it’s worshipped.
Of course, youth does have an important role in fashion and beauty. Because it is intrinsically aesthetically pleasing. But the qualities associated with youthfulness have been greatly overstated; created unrealistic expectations when it comes to our own journey on this earth. And particularly for those who love fashion and enjoy expressing themselves through clothing and makeup. “What??,” off goes the alarm bell in our minds, “does that mean it will be over for me once I hit 40”?
A New Version of Youth
In 2012, KHole, the collective that coined the term ‘normcore’ came out with a radically different definition of youth, stating that “being in youth mode isn’t about perpetually reliving yourself at a younger age, it’s about being youthfully present at any given age. Youth isn’t a process, aging is. In youth mode, you are infinite.” And “youth understands freedom with limits — that being adaptable is the only thing that will set you free.”
So maybe youthfulness has nothing to do with chronological age, after all. It seems to be closer to being curious about the world we live in. Engaging with new ideas and manifestations of art and style— that, of course, includes fashion and cosmetics. Fine intellectual pursuits, you might think, but what about my own long-gone youthfulness and the need to feel sexy and desirable, again?
Sonia Quintin, also known as Miss Sonia Fit, is a certified naturopath and fitness coach from Montreal’s South Shore who works exclusively with women over 35 to help them ‘get their sexy back,’ as her tagline says, through a personalized training program and a healthy diet adapted to each person’s needs and lifestyle.
And Sonia she knows exactly the pressures to conform women face each day. After having two kids, with the few extra pounds that are oftentimes a consequence of pregnancies, she had given up on ever wearing a bikini again. She’d been told it was ‘normal’ to feel out of shape now that she was a mom — her only true, glorious, goal. Basically ceasing to exist as an individual to now tend to others’ needs first and foremost.
But then one morning, enough was enough when she looked at herself in the mirror. Sonia joined a gym, made it a priority to embark on a fitness journey, ignoring all the negative comments that might come her way. And at the age of 45, she became the most ‘mature’ cover girl of Summum magazine, with a killer body and positive outlook on beauty, at any age.
“The perfect body does not exist. The most important thing is to accept yourself as you are. Self-love is super important. For sure I enjoy looking fit, and working hard towards achieving my goals. I feel better, too. But you need to have a healthy mindset. In the world of fitness competition, I’ve seen some harrowing stories of stunning women who are completely broken because they’ve put on a pound or two. But real beauty comes from that sparkle we all carry within ourselves. That’s what we project. That’s true glam. And that’s why some people are more memorable than others. It has little to do with your chronological age.”
An important reminder to us all, and a warning not to fall for the fake and unrealistic beauty standards too often portrayed on social media; although that image is currently being challenged and is more welcoming in terms of non-traditional beauty types. Which includes incredible role models who are in their forties, fifties, sixties. And some even beyond that.
How to Get There
Let’s be honest. Not everyone enjoys working out. It hurts. You sweat. You have to commit. It can take months before you start seeing any kind of result. But it’s one of the very best, easily available, and proven methods to get in shape at any stage of your life. Regardless of your present body shape, weight and fitness level, in many cases.
“Yes, it is possible to develop strong, lean muscle mass and tone your body after the age of 40, despite what you might have heard or what some marketing campaigns imply,” says Sonia. Plus, exercise has proven benefits for mental health. “When you train, your brain produces serotonin — the ‘feel good’ hormone that reduces feelings of depression and anxiety, among other things. Working out is an incredible mood booster. And you should make it a point to train when you’re feeling down and you’re not into it. That’s the best moment to chase those blues away, naturally.” Next time you have an acute case of the blahs, try a brisk walk instead of imbibing that rosé. You can thank us later.
If you want to look great and — bonus — potentially have a longer and healthier life, staying active is important. “When you’re 20, you’re at your peak. But beauty is not just about youth. A mature woman exudes another type of beauty that has more to do with what she’s accomplished, having agency,” says Sonia. “All that makes her look incredibly attractive. Because being sexy really goes beyond what you look like physically. It’s about the energy you project. And that’s where I help my clients gain that inner strength. Because when you’re happy with the way your body looks and feels — not some idealized version of beauty, but your own — that’s where your power lies,” Sonia reminds us.
Loving yourself is a process. And that also means letting go of the way you think others see you. Start where you are…
Credits:
Photo 2: Sonia Quintin, photo: Carl Theriault
